JOURNAL ENTRIES
04/09/24 - 04/09/24
content warning for those with a * next to the date.
April 15th, 2024 *
Hi again! I have come here to complain. So, I have a man. I suppose I mentioned that in the first entry (situationship, to be exact). I'm just gonna call him T. Well, sometimes I want to make him mad at me. I want him to be mad at me and be mean. I know this is the mental illness in me talking, but sheesh. I know I deserve better, that I shouldn't want those things. It just feels so weird being with someone who's so calm and practically never gets mad. It makes me feel crazy (probably because I am to some degree). Sometimes I think I'm incapable of loving or being loved because my ideas are warped. I want to be abused. Again, that's my mental problems talking. I KNOW I deserve to be loved and cared for. Sometimes I think, too, that he is not the one because of how nice he is. Then again, I'm pretty positive he isn't the one anyways because "the one" would want to date me. He doesn't. Well, he says he does, but he's busy w/ school and work, and he wouldn't wanna be in an official relationship if he doesn't get to see me often. Which, I get it, but..we can make it work, can't we? I don't know. I don't date for marriage anyways. I date for experiences, to live life. I feel a bit better getting that off my chest. Thanks, anon! ~10:53PM
૮꒰ ˶• ༝ •˶꒱ა ♡
Hi!! It's been super warm recently, which is really nice. I'm off of spring break now, so I'll have to focus on school again. I actually have a paper due on the 23rd that needs to be at least 5 pages, which isn't bad, but I should have already started on it. I have not. I've been busy playing Fortnite and Animal Crossing, bahah. I will get back on the grind though!
My plans this week consist of doing school and going to this Japan festival with some weeb friends of mine on the 20th. I'm super excited! I can't wait to try some new food. I wonder if they'll have takoyaki? I've been wanting to try that especially.
I might not be able to code too much this week for this site. I'll try and see what I can squeeze in, but I have other shit I need to obviously put first. No hate to you, anon, but I have a life outside of the interweb! Bahaha. Anyway, take care of yourself this week. Go outside and talk to your friends! Bye for now!! ~5:20PM
April 10th, 2024
AHHH! I HAVE TF2 BRAINROT!! I AM UP DOING NOTHING BUT MAKING PLAYLISTS. IT IS LATE AS HELL OMGGG. i need spy so bad tho its not even a joke, hes sooooo fine. and you know what? i never had a thing for accents until him...he makes me go crazy...damn frenchie. ~4:20AM
April 9th, 2024
AGGHH!! I don't know why, but I'm so awful at talking to people online! I get so nervous and I don't know what to do. I play a lot of ROBLOX, and usually when someone friends me and we talk, I'll unfriend them and then leave the game promptly because I get so damn scared. Why am I so nervous over the internet?? Shit. It's weird, too, because I'm not that nervous in person. I have no trouble making friends and talking to people in person, but online, I can NEVER do it. Ugh. so weird. ~7:33PM
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Agh! First entry. What to talk about? Well, for one, I am very busy with college and whatnot. When I'm not doing college work, I'm usually resting or catching up! Though, I can't complain too much. It's much better than high school. I at least have time to do rest and do other things. I'm one of those people who will work on something for a few months, forget about it, then go back to it once they remember it-- and that's how it's sort of been for this site. Sort of! I actually think about this quite a lot. I'm pretty proud of myself too since I've been able to learn a lot of coding in only a short amount of time. By no means am I amazing or good, but I wouldn't say I'm terrible either.
Anyways. Today I didn't do too much. I rested, watched TV, and even caught up on JJK finally. I've been talking to my...man? Boyfriend? Situationship? Egh, the guy I'm going out with (we aren't official, but we do go on dates and actively hang out and talk with one another. We're also loyal, just without the label for now). He thinks Sukuna won due to plot..he's totally wrong! I think Sukuna won because he simply had the upperhand. I mean, shit, did we even read the same manga dude? Bahah. Anyway, I'm hoping to start working out soon and incorporating healthy habits in my lifestyle. Hopefully! I usually say this and then give up, bahah. ~2:30AM
